In diametrical opposition to the values on which America was founded, liberals believe that mankind is hopeless without government intervention. They trade individualism, initiative, and self-reliance for government paternalism which stems from not being taught to manage their money by their single mothers. In other words, liberals are not happy unless the government is doing everything for them which they should be doing for themselves -- such as masturbating. According to a study conducted by the nation's top physicians, liberals are prone to severe depression and aggression whenever the long, thick cock of Government is not embedded in everyone's rectums.
(People who are in favor of small government and call themselves liberals, are either anarchists that flunked Political Science 101, dipsticks that can't tell the difference between classical and modern liberalism, or VERY confused libertarians. 'Nuff said.)
When you confront a liberal, they prefer to be called a "LIEberal", because it's clever, and one must wear a big smile on their face and speak down to them with a stern tone as if they were a child throwing a tantrum. Liberals are also obsessed with some company called Haliburton, so presumably they must have stock in that company. Just dismiss their rants about how great they are doing, and tell them you’re glad that they’ve invested well in a great American company. Be warned, prolonged exposure to liberals has been proven to cause random dismemberment due to menstrual blood traveling at fantastic velocities.