Something horrible happened to me today.
This girl that I liked walked up to me during lunch break, along with her friends following her. I was very nervous already -like I always am with girls- and could tell from the heat on my face I was heavily blushing, which made me even more nervous. To add to that, her friends were laughing behind her shoulders, so I smelled something fishy right away.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me then occurred. Never in my life have I felt so miserable. She looked at me with a grin on her face, and told me that first off she never liked me, and was just playing with me for a laugh. Then, she added that I was ugly and that no one would ever want to be with someone like me. Behind her, her friends were laughing and capturing the whole scene with their camera phones (so yeah, it was probably planned from the start, all to have a big laugh at me)
I didn't even know how to react, so many people were around and looking at me that I just felt I was going to fall unconscious. I walked out of there mechanically -I was barely able to think- as quickly as I could with tears I was hardly keeping and went to the bathroom to CRY. I hadn't cried for years and there I was, in the fucking canteen's bathroom crying.
I'm a fucking loser and I hate myself SO FUCKING BAD. I hate girls and I hate humans. They rob you of every single piece of self-esteem you have for their own self-enjoyment. How the fuck am I supposed to go on with life when people are so horrible?