I need some advice....

Preferably by someone who actually HAS experience with women. Like, married, maybe. This has NOTHING to do with politics, or religion, or any of that shit. I met the girl online, and we've been talking since before Christmas. Thing is, I've kind of fallen in love with her, even despite never having met. Now I know that chances are nothing can ever come out of this, but I want it to, so I'm going to do my damnest to make it work.

Something... happened today. I don't live anywhere near her. She's in Arizona, and I'm in Canada. I need some advice. What to say, or maybe what to do. I... God, I don't want her to be so scared. So alone. I need some advice.

Oh... I guess I can give you some advice my friend....

Look, I've been in a 5 years long relationship with a girl I met online. A Russian girl I met in te site of a "socialist" newspaper "Komsomolskaya Pravda". We started chatting through that site, then exchanged mails, started chatting in ICQ and eventually chatted everyday nearly 6 hous a day, sometimes she wouldn't sleep sometimes I wouldn't sleep.

Well, after 1 year and a half of online relationship with her, we finally met in Moscow. We were together just 7 days... but I can say those have been some of the best days I have had in my life.

We first met at 20:15 on august 6th 2005 in front of St. Basil's Cathedral (usually mistaken with the Kremlin itself). She went together with her mother since, as it's usual, they feared this could me a scam. I went with my brother, mother and aunt, since they would simply be lost in Moscow as they don't know anything in Russian.

So well, we greeted each other altogether and her mother stayed with my family, we hugged in a rather strong way and then we took each other by the hand and started strolling alone. We remained silent for a while and when I tried to glance at her she would say "Don't look at me, it makes me feel uncomfortable". After a while we got by the riverside and we kissed. It was actually my first kiss. Then she just said "next time we'll do this just in the hotel". We got on our way back to the red square and remained silent for another while, making just trifling comments about our surroundings, weather, you know that kind of things. On our way back, police heard that we spoke in English and they stopped us and asked for our passports... I didn't have mine and that ensued a one hour and a half conflict with police. After that she returned home and I returned to my hotel.

Next day, we strolled together for almost 5 hours and then stayed in the hotel for a while. We were alone in the hotel's room and I asked her "Can I kiss you?" she agreed and we started kissing. A couple of minutes after we started kissing we were nearly having sex, we got naked and engaged in foreplay for a while and then her mother called her and we had to stop.

The following days we would stay together in the hotel's room for even 6-8 hours chatting, eating, taking shower together and having sex and then strolling around the city.

I remember once while taking shower we huged and she asked me "When you return to Mexico, will you change me for another girl?" and I replied "No, will you change me?" and she said "No".

She confessed that she had been somewhat scared the first two days but that excitement overran her. I probably managed to make her feel safe and confident by forcing absolutely nothing.

So well, the last day we simply stayed together, chatted had breakfast together and bid farewell to each other. I have to admit I did cry that day and really felt empty after that for a good while. She told me that she had been crying for days and so on...

That was the start of a relationship in which we even seriously considered getting married, started saving for an apartment, started researching living options, in which I periodically visited her and lived with her for months, in which I would stay 24 hours a day literally. A 5 years long relationship.

After that meeting in Moscow, she would write me long letters, wait for me on teh internet for hours, send me tons of erotic photographies of her and well... she wouldn't do other thing but dedicate herself entirely to two things: University and me. That lasted until March 2006 when she started having sex with other men and engage in prostitution. I wouldn't know of that until I came to her home in Russia on december 2006 and opened her hidden files in her computer. After 2 years 10 months 10 days of having that woman as my girlfriend, whom I considered my fianceé, to whom I bought a cellphone and always sent the money she requested, I had to sit for a while looking at 40 photos of her having sex with another guy, pretty fucking detailed photos in different poses... I decied to go on with the relationship, she swore not to do that again and then we met in USA 6 months later and I read some SMS of her with her clients, I learned how much she asked for a blowjob, for conventional sex and for each meeting, the name of her clients and exactly when and where she had sex with them... I forgave her... and after that one year after that I'm deciding to leave her... since I can't bare that anymore....


Just an introduction to my online love story with my first couple.

My advice?

Ask yourself this:

1. What do I expect from this girl? From myself?
2. How much do I know of this girl?

Meet her, get to know her more deeply, try to gain her trust, see if you can have a relationship and if so settle the conditions for it.

Having a long distance relationship is a hard deal if one of you two or both don't settle some rules and don't take into account several possible scenaries. You must know how capable are you of seeing each other, with which frequency, and how will you be spending your time together.

You must take into account all possible dificulties that you'll have to face. Make sure you both share objectives and views on the way to have a relationship and make sure you both comit to the same rules.

If you want to make that work, it will take some effort and that you and her manage to know each other well enough and on the level of agreement that will exist between both of you.

I wish you the best of luck with this girl and always keep honest and truthful to yourself and her. I hope my story can be of at least some little use to you.

Good luck.

wow dude. That was sad and romantic and all in all a good post. I say if you both are willing meeting eachother would be awesome.

i met by band memebrs throguth face book, and my GF.(who is in the band) if i were you man set up a meating point and spend some time, bring something just in case she is not who she says she is. and make sure that your interent personality is really you

just remember "Captain Happy reminds you to all ways carry a knife!"
http://www2.rangersurplus.com/show_category.asp?category=71&tgs=9721523:46787843&cart_id=

i don't know
meet her?

Sara wrote:

After we met each other ,I found that most of them are not so interesting as I felt like before.Their characters are not so good and grades are worse than me.
So everything is over.

*grades are worse than mine

Do you actually take grades into account to stablish a relationship with someone?!

I do. I hate people who are idiots but get straight A's. IT shows that schoool isn't about integligince. Its about who goes along with the system.

well like sara siad it can all be just to immpress you online, but really just meet here, and make sure its not a creepy fourty year old sex molestor

enviro wrote:

well like sara siad it can all be just to immpress you online, but really just meet here, and make sure its not a creepy fourty year old sex molestor

That's pretty unlikely. You can recognize when a 40 year old guy pretends to be a 20 year old girl, believe me. Else, a 40 year old guy will definitely not risk himself to flirt with a 21 year old guy and is not quite interesting to him either.

i know, buti just had to put it out there, i mean how do you know im not a forty year old guy?

enviro wrote:

i know, buti just had to put it out there, i mean how do you know im not a forty year old guy?

You could be although your writting style denotes otherwise unless you were simply a very bored and silly 40 year old guy. Or if you were making some political experiment perhaps. Remember this is a totally different context than stablishing a relationship. When I was 13 years old I would pretend to be a 40 years old guy that was tank gunner of a Merkava Mk I, veteran of Operation Peace for Galilee, several people believed it. 40 year old guys don't usually do that in these kind of contexts.

you know hwat, i guess your right, but no one knows by real age MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

we now return to your topic, already in progress

Tyrong Kojy wrote:

Something... happened today. I don't live anywhere near her. She's in Arizona, and I'm in Canada. I need some advice. What to say, or maybe what to do. I... God, I don't want her to be so scared. So alone. I need some advice.

Well, you could say something like the following: I enjoy talking to you. If you ever plan to go to Canada, don't forget to tell me. I invite you to meet me if you ever come to *you city name here*. I can show you around.

Have you ever visited other countries than USA?

I personally dont recommend you go across whole USA to meet a girl you have never ever met in your life. Most likely she will not fit you anyway, like it's the case for most girls. There are not many who would be a good match.

If she ever comes to Canada, you might consider traveling to meet her, if it is not too far away.

Zealot_Kommunizma wrote:

Sara wrote:

After we met each other ,I found that most of them are not so interesting as I felt like before.Their characters are not so good and grades are worse than me.
So everything is over.

*grades are worse than mine

Do you actually take grades into account to stablish a relationship with someone?!

She does. If my grades were not similiar to hers she wouldn't be with me. Grades are a factor for intelligence and knowledge. I personally wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't as clever as me and if a girl has much worse grades than me, I would also question her intelligence.

....

You're all nuts.

By the way, I can't afford it, so I'm gonna do what I can do. It's not much, but making a card is better than nothing. I'm pathetic.

Oh, and she's 16, I'm 21, I doubt she's a 40 year old molester.

Kenzu wrote:

Have you exchanged many photos? Have you videochatted?

Yea, if any of her pictures are differn't even like the slitest bit. (1 day short hair and the next day like 7 inches longer) they are probably fake, also make sure she dosen't use the same pic over and over again.

Zealot_Kommunizma wrote:

Sara wrote:

After we met each other ,I found that most of them are not so interesting as I felt like before.Their characters are not so good and grades are worse than me.
So everything is over.

*grades are worse than mine

Do you actually take grades into account to stablish a relationship with someone?!

Thank you for correcting my mistake!

well video chats are diff, videos work alot

Kenzu wrote:

She does. If my grades were not similiar to hers she wouldn't be with me. Grades are a factor for intelligence and knowledge.

I used to have some of the worst grades at school, would you say I'm stupid? Grades are just a factor determined by comitment towards school and can only serve as a parameter of intelligence if you're really commited to it and you're still getting bad grades, a quite unlikely scenario.

Kenzu wrote:

I personally wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't as clever as me and if a girl has much worse grades than me, I would also question her intelligence.

I don't give a damn about grades, they tell me nothing except "I work hard or not at school". I'll notice someone's intelligence during conversation, while exchanging ideas.

Tyrong Kojy wrote:

You're all nuts.

Usually I take that as a compliment, so thanks.

Tyrong Kojy wrote:

By the way, I can't afford it, so I'm gonna do what I can do. It's not much, but making a card is better than nothing. I'm pathetic

Why Pathetic? I had to wait for a year and a half before meeting my girlfriend... and given my age I had to work very hard at school to satisfy my mother so she would economically help me. That fits more with pathetic I think..

Sara wrote:

Thank you for correcting my mistake!

You're welcome, I'm pleased to help

About grades:
Maybe you know know much about China.
There is a very difficult collage exam here every year.
You can choose history ,geography,politics,physics,chemistry,biology.
I have chosen physics.This is the hardest one.
And personally,I don't like boys who choose like history geography and politics.You don't need to think if you choose them,you can just only remember all the things in the book.
And if a person can not study well ,how can you know if he or she will be good at work or life.

I'm not even IN school, so grades are completely moot.

And yes, Kenzu. Webcam. And YES guys, she's a woman. TRUST me.

Sara wrote:

About grades:
Maybe you know know much about China.
There is a very difficult collage exam here every year.
You can choose history ,geography,politics,physics,chemistry,biology.
I have chosen physics.This is the hardest one.

Here in Mexico for 6 consecutive years before entering university and depending on the school in which you are there are very difficult exams on ALL topics. You can't choose, you simply have to pass all of them. On physics, math, geography, chemistry, history, law, etc.

Sara wrote:

And personally,I don't like boys who choose like history geography and politics.You don't need to think if you choose them,you can just only remember all the things in the book.

Depends on what you're being asked and how. You see all the forum activity here? (Well most of it anyways...) It's thinking based on politics and history. You don't only need to remember things, you have to apply critical thought to all those topics. And this comes from someone who is about to study mechanical engineering..

Sara wrote:

And if a person can not study well ,how can you know if he or she will be good at work or life.

Maybe you can study well but you simply don't want to. Being good at work depends on knowledge and comitment towards society (unless you're a capitalist pig that only works for profit, in which case anyway you're comited to profit) and other factors such as health and discipline may influde. At life? I can be an excellent brother, son, friend, husband and father without giving a damn about school. You can be a kind person, a person comitted to society without caring about study or grades.

Most of the people with good grades I know are people not commited to anything but increasing their ego and adapting to a pretty fucked up society. And which are not particularily intelligent.

Oh....What I mean is that my partner is better than me.
Maybe he is not the best in the school,but he is the best in my eyes.


We have to study all the subjects in the first two years in high school.And we can choose one in the last year.

For subjects like history....you just have to learn them by heart,you don't need to use your brain somehow.So that's what I don't like.